"Gilmore Girls" - Quotes from season 3

I've been busy last weeks, so it is probably the last post with quotes from "Gilmore Girls". But I still had time to choose the most interesting, sarcastic and wise from them.

"Gilmore Girls" is a mother/daughter story about life, love, managing problems and following their dreams. And also this show is very sunny, romantic, a bit dramatic and very witty. Its characters always make me smile, but with every season it becomes more dramatic.

Created by Amy Sherman-Palladino.
Starring Lauren Graham, Alexis Bledel, Jared Padalecki, Keiko Agena, Scott Patterson, Kelly Bishop, Edward Herrmann, Melissa McCarthy, David Sutcliffe, Milo Ventimiglia.

More "Gilmore Girls" quotes!

Episode 1

Lorelai: Last night, when I said to you "Tomorrow, no matter what, make sure I get up at seven," what I actually meant was "Tomorrow, no matter what, make sure I have the option of getting up at seven in case when seven comes, I actually wanna get up," which – as it happened – I didn't. Therefore, you're currently responsible for the great alarm clock slaughter of 2002.

Lorelai: Yeah. I wonder if Christopher and Sherry's baby is going to look like me?

Episode 2

Emily: At least she had a husband to kill.

Lorelai: Say "Sorry, Grandma, but if my mother sees you, she'll run screaming down the hall."

Christopher: She did not get there by herself.
Lorelai: Hey, have you ever met your daughter? She could get anywhere by herself! She could get to the third dimension by herself! She was helping the crossing guard when she was four.

Lorelai: By the way, I'm also a communist. Yes, because I look damn good in red.

Episode 3

Luke: Sorry, just missed my youth for a second. I'm back. Coffee?

Rory: You can't freak out, I'm freaking out!

Rory: No, this is not a gift. These are my records – grades, SATs.
Lorelai: It's Rory in a bag – you add water and her brilliance springs out.

Episode 4

Lorelai: I'm out hunting –
Rory: A favorite Lorelai Gilmore pastime.
Lorelai: And my shotgun backfires and my whole face spins around a bunch of times and winds up in the back of my head like Daffy Duck. [about her weird dream]

Lorelai: Lose the baseball cap, too.
Jess: You run the risk of his head falling off without it.

Episode 5

Lorelai: You don't need shoes! In my day, we walked twenty miles in the snow just to get to our shoes!

Lorelai: Okay now, if for some reason, he does turn out to have like a horn in the middle of his forehead, you will call me in one hour with a very high fever. [how to get out of boring date]

Episode 6

Lorelai: Check this out. [picks up a stack of catalogs] This is a stack of identical catalogs mailed to Lorelai Gilmore, Rory Gilmore, Lorelai Rory Gilmore, Lorelai V. Gilmore, Lorelai Victoria Gilmore, Lorelai Gilmo, Lorelai Gil, and Squeegy Beckinheim.
Rory: How would that get in there?
Lorelai: I once told a store my name was Squeegy Beckinheim just to see how many catalogs they would sell my name to, and apparently my name is to catalog companies what Brooke Shields' picture is to Chinese restaurants. [she knows how to entertain herself]

Lorelai: Aren't baby shower balloons supposed to reflect the sex of the baby? Blue for boys, pink for girls. What's green for, aliens?

Lorelai: I just wanna rearrange her whole house.
Rory: You can't do that.
Lorelai: Please? Let me just mess up her bed. You make a distraction, like setting a fire, and I'll run up and un-color-coordinate her sheets. [planning how to drive crazy Sherry]

Episode 7

Rory: Well, there's this big event that's happening in my town. . .
Paris: Pig race?

Jackson: My child-bearing arrangements are between me and Sookie.
Luke: And the Lord. Still not helping?

Luke: Do I look like a cobbler to you?
Lorelai: If I say yes, will you fix my shoe?

Episode 8

Lorelai: It's my fault, I'm not focusing.
Rory: Yes, that must be why we can't move a half a city block closer to us.

Episode 9

Rory: What is the oil for?
Lorelai: For pouring on Visigoths.

Natalie: You have your mother's wit.
Emily: Sometimes I wish she'd give it back.

Episode 10

Lorelai: I have a spider whose previous credits include the bathtub scene from Annie Hall trapped under that cup.
Dean: The size of a Buick?

Lorelai: Don't let his family see you. Spiders are vindictive.

Lorelai: You rented your house to Korn?

Episode 11

Maid: Your mother's in the living room.
Lorelai: So last chance to run, huh?

Alex: I actually called your inn. I was gonna leave a message, but this French guy just gave me your home number. Said I shouldn't worry about calling too late, that you usually stay up until three, four in the morning.
Lorelai: Yeah, don't worry about him, he's getting fired tomorrow. [about how Alex got her number]

Episode 12

Rory: We're not always going to like the same things. Like, you like Smashing Pumpkins and I don't.
Lane: But that's only 'cause you're close-minded and blind.

Episode 13

Emily: Yes, but you're not a kid, you're a grown woman. What are people going to think when they see a grown woman bunking down with a bunch of twenty-year-olds?
Lorelai: Well, if the twenty-year-olds are cute, they'll probably think: 'Lucky!' [about road trip to Europe]

Lorelai: It's heavy. Must be her hopes and dreams for me. [about a box from her mother]

Episode 14

Lorelai: That's the thing. I have no packing crisis. For the first time in my life, there is no packing crisis. See? This has never happened to me before. I'm all packed, ready to go, and fully confident that I have everything I'll need or desire.
Rory: So you're creating a crisis out of nostalgia?

Episode 15

Emily: I never really truly appreciated the Atlantic Ocean before. Three thousand lovely miles of water. [regretting that her anxious mother-in-law came to visit them from London]

Guest: Don't give me that attitude, Frenchy. You'd be speaking German now if it wasn't for me.

Episode 16

Lane: It's getting frustrating. I mean, there's so many great songs that have been written post-Cobain, but try and convince Zach of that.

Max: You really hate him
Lorelai: I smile, I say hi, I let him eat the good cookies.
Max: You wanna have him killed.
Lorelai: Only if I get a really good price. [about Rory's boyfriend]

Episode 17

Sookie: Jackson moved a table and just kind of nicked this spider. He didn't see the little thing, and just clipped one of its legs. And it was having trouble walking and we were so upset, but Jackson made a new leg for it out of a paper clip, but jamming the clip into the spider killed it instantly.

Miss Patty: Poor Edgar Allen Poe, he suffered so much. And now we gotta suffer along with him. [while listening to a very dull reading of "Raven"]

Episode 18

Lorelai: No comment on my lesbian hilarity. My, how far we've come.

Episode 19

Lorelai: Oh, I know! How about ... no.
Rory: No, no, you can't keep doing that. You can't just start a thought and then say no. Finish them or don't start them at all.
Lorelai: You're very totalitarian today.

Episode 20

Lorelai: Your first cop-raided party. I am just so proud.
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: I just wish I could've been there.

Episode 21

Lorelai: Little tip - the whole stalking thing works infinitely better when you don't actually smash your face in the window.

Rory: Louise, what's your grandmother wearing to graduation?
Louise: Hopefully the pearls I get when she kicks.

Episode 22

Dean: You don't have to do this.
Rory: I know. That's why it's fun. [giving him a wedding gift]

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"Gilmore Girls" - Quotes from season 2

I finished watching season 2 of "Gilmore Girls" and I decided to continue posting my favorite quotes. I was collecting them while watching every episode, so there are many interesting, sarcastic, wise lines said by different characters.

"Gilmore Girls" is a mother/daughter story about life, love, managing problems and following their dreams. And also this show is very sunny, romantic, a bit dramatic and very witty. Its characters always make me smile, but with every season it becomes more dramatic.

Created by Amy Sherman-Palladino.
Starring Lauren Graham, Alexis Bledel, Jared Padalecki, Keiko Agena, Scott Patterson, Kelly Bishop, Edward Herrmann, Melissa McCarthy, David Sutcliffe, Milo Ventimiglia.

More "Gilmore Girls" quotes!

Episode 1

Lorelai: We missed you.
Dean: I missed you guys too.
Lorelai: No, I mean we really really missed you.
Dean: You need the water bottle changed, don't you?

Rory: Where's Dean?
Lorelai: Getting water.
Rory: You're shameless.
Lorelai: He offered.
Rory: Please.
Lorelai: The first thing he said to me was 'Hey Lorelai, can I change your water?' What can I do? The kid's a freak.

Lorelai: Uh, well, I'll have a white wine and Dean'll have a beer.
Dean: What?!
Lorelai: Corona right?
Dean: No, I don't want a beer! I don't drink beer. I'll have water or soda or anything. Or nothing. Not beer. Never beer. Beer's bad.
Emily: Relax Dean, that's just Lorelai's little sense of humor.

Dean: I'm not great in math.
Lorelai: Yeah, except who is really? You know, except mathematicians or the blackjack dealers, or I guess Stephen Hawking doesn't suck, but you know… You know what else is good though Mom, is a Ho-Ho. Because if you can't find a Twinkie, you know, treat yourself to a nice Ho-Ho. How long does it take to open a box?

Lorelai: Okay, well, Dean, all I can say is that tonight, you officially became a Gilmore Girl. Feels good, huh?

Episode 2

Rory: You are wearing a newspaper on your head.
Lorelai: I know.
Rory: And you need me to be serious?
Lorelai: I am trying to figure out veil lengths here.

Lorelai: You're right. It's a good thing. Nice, keeps your halo shiny.

Luke: And then after all that planning, the reception will still be a disaster because no matter what you do or how carefully you plan, halfway through one of those nauseating Bette Midler ballads, someone's getting drunk, someone's sleeping with someone else's wife, and someone's Chicken Kiev is landing on the cake. [about the wedding]

Lane: He likes me. He's perfect. I'll never see him again. You'll read about it in my novel, A Connecticut Yankee in Pusan.

Rory: If you had taken me camping, I'd have wilderness skills.
Lorelai: Well, I'll tell you what. I'll take you upstairs. I'll throw you out the window. If you manage to grab that tree, I'll be your witness.

Episode 3

Rory: Okay, our house is burning down, and you can save the cake or me. What do you choose?
Lorelai: Well that's not fair. The cake doesn't have legs.

Max: What fallout shelter have you guys been living in?
Rory: He has much knowledge.
Lorelai: We shall form a cult around him.
Rory: Build a statue many stories high.

Lorelai: Whatcha doing?
Rory: Taking back Poland.

Lorelai: Ugh. I used to hate school starting. I once flipped the pages back in a calendar my mom kept in the kitchen and tried to convince her it was June and not September.

Lorelai: Yoko and John Lennon did. They just got closer and closer as the years went by. At the end, they had the same face.

Episode 4

Lorelai: Well, it's a long story. I don't really wanna go into all the whats and whys and gory details right now, but you should know we all still love Max, and to figure out exactly what happened, you'd have to dig up Freud himself and have him work on me full time.

Rory: I am uniformed and ignorant and. . .I can't even think of a second synonym for uninformed. I suck.

Rory: Okay, but every kid coming to Harvard is inevitably reading books, and different books, and I want to be able to converse intelligently with each of them and I can't do that unless I read books, at least a few from every genre and sub-genre.

Episode 5

Luke: So you can't order crispy fries without first ordering fries.
Boy: Why not?
Luke: Because you can't make something crispy that doesn't exist.
Boy: Why not?
Luke: Get him away from me Taylor.

Luke: He's adjusting. He just got here. He probably just went out and realized there are twelve stores in this town devoted entirely to peddling porcelain unicorns. I've lived in this town my entire life, I still can't believe it.

Lorelai: Jackson grows fruit and then scares people with it.

Max: My father wanted me to be a doctor, and my mother wanted me to be President, and I wanted to be. . . a clown.

Episode 6

Female friend: She threw an ice sculpture at his head.
Emily: I can't believe I missed that.

Dean: Neil Young looks cool because he's Neil Young, not because he's wearing a tux.

Rory: Okay, I'm adopted. [after watching how Lorelai and Christopher beautifully danced]

Episode 7

Rory: God! You're like a pop up book from hell!

Lorelai: No, I mean, bad girl. How many times have I told you not to ring bells?
Rory: Let's go.
Lorelai: They can dent or scratch and they make dogs crazy. Who do you think you are, the hunchback of Notre Dame? Are you French, are you circular, I don't think so.

Episode 8

Emily: Lorelai, would you like me to put a mirror in front of you so you can look at yourself while you have this conversation?

Lorelai: Hey, how dare you walk away from me when I'm being a world class jerk to you.

Episode 9

Literature teacher: Believe it or not, Shakespeare probably never intended his plays to be read by students sitting at decks more concerned with getting A's than with the fate of Macbeth.

Lorelai: Listen to me. I know you are Miss Honesty. I have seen the banner in the closet.

Rory: Mom made the dress.
Lorelai: Not to mention the girl inside it.
Rory: Hello, gross.

Episode 10

Richard: Floyd was stunned. I'd never seen Floyd stunned. I enjoyed seeing Floyd stunned.

Episode 11

Lorelai: Sookie, I really appreciate you letting us crash here tonight. It was so creepy just lying there listening to a thousand tiny little insects just mocking me. "Ha ha, we're eating your house, try and stop us."

Lane: All right. I forgot my pom.
Rory: Your what?
Lane: Two are pompoms, one's a pom!

Episode 12

Emily: I mean, in terms of your finding someone, what do you think the odds are?
Lorelai: Okay, what is going on?
Emily: Well, I visited the family mausoleum today.
Lorelai: Never what you think it's gonna be!

Emily: So I went inside and looked around and it occurred to me that there's a very limited space there. Now of course there's a slot open for me and Richard and you and Rory, but after the two of you – that's it. No more room for anyone else. So if you actually do meet someone someday, I don't know where to put him.
Lorelai: Well, maybe we could just dump him at the local pool hall.

Episode 13

Lorelai: I remember the days of lying to my mother about a boy. Once I had a boy hidden in the closet and of course Mom wouldn't leave, so I finally had to pretend to get sick to my stomach just to get her out of the room long enough for him to climb out the window and down the tree. He fell, broke his leg. Ah, to be young again.

Lorelai: Also pathetic. But that is a pathetic I can live with, where that pathetic is a truly pathetic pathetic, and only you can save me from the double pathetic! Please!

Episode 14

Lorelai: Hey, let's sit at the counter.
Rory: The counter, those are not the power seats.
Lorelai: Yes, but with no one here we can sit at either end and play bagel hockey.

Rory: She's a very cautious driver. She doesn't roll through stop signs, doesn't speed, she always signals before she turns.
Lorelai: Commendable, but not the person I want driving our getaway car.
Rory: What are we robbing?
Lorelai: Sephora. We had it all planned out.

Episode 15

Luke: I'm having nightmares about being chased around by boxes with arms and they tackle me and pile clothing on top of my face and secure it around my head with packing tape and I'm just lying there choking while you're sitting in the corner laughing, putting gel in your hair with a switchblade!

Lorelai: All right, I'll check the car. And don't worry – if worse comes to worse and we can't find it, we'll follow Dean to work, hide behind the cantaloupes, jump him, blind him and he'll never find out.
Rory: As long as we have a plan. [about a lost bracelet]

Episode 16

Lorelai: Rory, you have to do something bad when Mommy's out of town. It's the law. You're seen Risky Business, right? Now I'm not asking for a prostitution ring, but how about a floating craps game or something?

Episode 17

Hippie guy: It's all approved by the proper authorities. I followed the rules, it's what my father taught me. Cop for twenty years, got shot in the butt. Good man – tips over sometimes when he sits – but good man.

Lorelai: It's repetitive.
Rory: And redundant.
Lorelai: It's repetitive.
Rory: And redundant.
Lorelai: We certainly are entertaining, Mac.
Rory: Indubitably, Tosh.

Episode 18

Lorelai: Right back, Dad, like right back. In fact, change on the way upstairs. And make it a Navy shower – quick soap, quick rinse and no excessive posing! Hungry.

Giselle: Turn turn turn. Thank God I have the perfect son. If you had been ugly, I don't know what I would've done.
Michel: Boarding school?
Giselle: In Switzerland.

Lorelai: Honey, you gotta ease up on that love potion you've been giving him or he's gonna start showing up at David Letterman's house soon. [about many calls from Dean]

Lorelai: Hey, did you notice when he gets mad he gets taller? I don't know how he does it but he actually grows. The day I told him I was pregnant, twenty-four feet tall. It freaked the birds.

Episode 19

Lorelai: And over here you have a tiny but annoying bell in case there's something here that you need but you don't have and you want to summon the common but lovely house wench who will promptly leave her talking mice and come to fetch the Contessa whatever she may require.

Christopher: I'm gonna need a picture of this Jess so I don't accidentally rip the head off the wrong kid 'cause that would be bad.

Christopher: This town is like one big outpatient mental institution.
Lorelai: Glad you could join us.

Episode 20

Emily: Well, you're crude and unprofessional.
Lorelai: Well, I'd like that on my tombstone, please.

Episode 21

Lane: Oh my God, you guys walk fast. I've been chasing you for the past two blocks.
Rory: Hey, we were being followed.
Lorelai: I told you I wasn't just being paranoid. Maybe next time you'll take me seriously when I tell you furniture moved itself.

Episode 22

Paris: You look like little birds help you get dressed in the morning.

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"Gilmore Girls" - Quotes from season 1

Some of my especially favorite quotes from this wonderful girlie TV show. Since I've watched just first season, it's just the first portion of memorable quotes.

"Gilmore Girls" is a mother/daughter story about life, love, managing problems and following their dreams. And also this show is very sunny, romantic, a bit dramatic and very witty. Its characters always make me smile and laugh.

Created by Amy Sherman-Palladino.
Starring Lauren Graham, Alexis Bledel, Jared Padalecki, Keiko Agena, Scott Patterson, Kelly Bishop, Edward Herrmann, Melissa McCarthy, Chad Michael Murray.

Episode 1

Rory: So, Grandpa, how's the insurance biz going?
Richard: Eh, people die, we pay. People crash cars, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay.

Episode 2

Rory: I can't be late on my first day of school. Do you know what happens to people when they're late on their first day?
Lorelai: Their day is shorter?

Lorelai: Well, we like our Internet slow, okay? We can turn it on, walk around, dance, make a sandwich. With DSL, there's no dancing, no walking, and we'd starve. It'd be all work and no play. Have you not seen The Shining, Mom?

Rory: Yeah, they kept calling me Mary.
Lorelai: You're kidding me. Wow, I can't believe they still say that.
Rory: Why? What does it mean?
Lorelai: Mary, like Virgin Mary.

Episode 5

Max, the teacher: Okay, Okay, how about coffee? Do you like coffee?
Lorelai: Only with my oxygen.

Lorelai: Why should we date?
Max: Because we are attracted to each other.
Lorelai: I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.

Episode 6

Rory: So, is this party Grandma's having gonna be a big deal?
Lorelai: Not really. The government will close that day. Flags will fly at half-mast. Barbra Streisand will give her final concert…again. Now, the Pope has previous plans, but he's trying to get out of them. However, Elvis and Jim Morrison are coming and they're bringing chips.
Rory: You ask a simple question…

Episode 7

Lorelai: That Lothario over there has wormed his way into my daughter's heart — and mouth — and for that, he must die!
Luke: You can't kill the bag boy.
Lorelai: Why not?
Luke: It's double coupon day — you'll bring down the town.

Dean: But you don't like me.
Lorelai: But I want to like you... and I usually get what I want.

Lorelai: I remember it being smaller.
Ms. Kim: It's been six weeks, maybe it grew. [about a chair]

Episode 8

Emily: I just sent Lance to pick up Rory at school. The roads are terrible — black ice everywhere. It's just a mess out there. I hate this kind of weather. So, anyhow, what time will you get here?
Lorelai: Well, uh, gee, Mom, I don't know. Let me see… black ice, treacherous roads. I'll just put on my red, white, and blue leotard, grab my golden lasso, and fly the invisible plane on over?

Episode 10

Lane: You have to look at what a gift says to the other person, not to you. Remember two years ago, I got my mom that perfume?
Rory: Yeah.
Lane: Okay, to me that said, "Hey Mom, you work hard, you deserve something fancy". Now to my mother, it said, "Hey Mom, here's some smelly sex juice, the kind I use to lure boys with", and resulted in me being sent to Bible camp all summer.

Luke: The truth hurts.
Lorelai: No, you know what hurts? Having a screwdriver jammed in the back of your head!

Episode 11

Lorelai: I want a pet!
Rory: You have me!

Episode 12

Sookie: You will not regret this.
Lorelai: Pick another phrase.
Sookie: You will not have to pay.
Lorelai: Much better. [about a blind day]

Michel: Well, not everyone is cut out to be their own boss. Maybe you are more of a worker bee, a follower, a ticket ripper, or the man at the concert with the orange glow stick directing you where to park. [to Lorelai when she was nervous about her exam]

Episode 13

Rory: Did you find our house okay?
Paris: Your street has no sign on it.
Rory: I told you to turn left at the giant rooster statue.
Paris: I thought you were kidding.
Lorelai: No one kids about Monty!

Lorelai: Who wants cheese?
Rory: Are there crackers?
Lorelai: Somewhere in the state of Connecticut, yes, there are crackers.

Episode 14

Rory: Mother-daughter window washing. We should try that.
Lorelai: Yeah, right after mother-daughter shock treatments.

Lorelai: Ok, how about this? I'll help you. I love to paint.
Luke: You do?
Lorelai: Yes, I do.
Luke: You love it?
Lorelai: I want to marry it.
Luke: You have strange passions.
Rory: She likes washing dishes too. She's multi-faceted abnormal.

Emily: The two of you must come up for the weekend. It is so lovely. Rory would just love it.
Rory: Can we go for a weekend?
Lorelai: We'll see how much Valium Auntie Sookie can lend Mommy, Ok?

Emily: We only go to Europe in the fall.
Lorelai: You know, Mom, I heard a rumor Europe's still there in the spring.
Rory: I heard that too.
Emily: We know that it's there in the spring but we never go in the spring because we always go in the fall.

Episode 15

Emily: Lorelai, Christopher's in town!
Lorelai: What?! I didn't know! Although coincidently I'm sitting across an amazing Christopher hologram.

Emily: You usually knock.
Lorelai: Not since you gave us a key.
Emily: That is for emergencies.
Lorelai: Well mom, I'm starving to death. Is that enough of an emergency for you?

Lorelai: I've gotta see my parents.
Christopher: I've gotta see my parents.
Rory: Ladies and gentlemen, the drama king and queen of Connecticut.

Emily: I know one thing for sure- you certainly have your father's musical talent.
Lorelai: Oh, wait just a minute.
Emily: What?
Lorelai: Mom, neither of these two have any musical talent.
Christopher: Hey, I play guitar.
Lorelai: You know the opening lick to 'Smoke on the Water'.
Christopher: And I've since mastered the opening like to 'Jumping Jack Flash'.

Lorelai: I am thanks. You remember Rory. You haven't seen her in quite a while.
Straub, Christopher's father: No we haven't.
Francine, Christopher's mother: I think she was just beginning to speak in complete sentences.
Lorelai: So not for two years then. She's obviously been talking a long time so I was making a humorous comment sometimes referred to as a joke.

Emily: Straub is actually a good man. Very smart. He was one of the top lawyers in his field - a very arcane aspect of International law. And he's always been so active in his community. His charity work has never diminished over the years. Oh let's face it - he's a big ass.

Episode 16

Dean: It's depressing.
Rory: It's beautiful.
Dean: She throws herself under a train.
Rory: But I bet she looked great doing it.
Dean: I don't know. I think maybe Tolstoy's just a little over my head.
Rory: No, that's not true. Tolstoy wrote for the masses, the common man. It's completely untrue that you have to be some kind of genius to read his stuff.

Rory: I mean, I feel really bad that I missed our two-month anniversary.
Dean: Quite all right too.
Rory: How was it?
Dean: Pretty good.
Rory: I'm glad.

Lorelai: You are full of hate and loathing, and I gotta tell you, I love it!
Luke: Oh, it's so good to have somebody share this hate with.

Lane: I have to stop hanging out with you. I mean, you're just making my life seem too pathetic.
Lorelai: Join the club.

Rory: I would never make fun of you. Especially not after you ordered three different kinds of pasta for me just because I couldn't decide.
Dean: Well you shouldn't have to decide. I mean, tonight, you should have everything that you want.
Rory: I just have to say that I'm now a very big fan of the three-month anniversary.
Dean: Oh yeah?
Rory: Definitely. I think they should have T-shirts and newsletters.

Chase: Oh it is. In fact, if you were to answer a few simple questions for me, I could practically pinpoint the day you're going to die.
Emily: Goodness.
Lorelai: Go ahead. Ask her the questions.

Episode 17

Lorelai: Rory, my heart. It is Saturday, the day of rest.
Rory: Sunday's the day of rest.
Lorelai: No, Saturday is the day of pre-rest.
Rory: Pre-rest?
Lorelai: Yeah, so that way when you actually get to Sunday you're rested enough to enjoy your rest.
Rory: That makes absolutely no sense.
Lorelai: That's because it's 6:00 on Saturday morning.

Rory: Think about it, trash is discarded aspect of people's lives.

Rachel: Well we were kind of up late last night so I let him sleep in.
Lorelai: Sleep in? Luke?
Rachel: Oh believe me it wasn't easy to get him to agree to it, but in the end, a little sweet talk, a couple of Excedrin PM he finally caved.

Lorelai: Here, turn around.
Rory: Why?
Lorelai: 14 hours of labor that's why.

Episode 18

Emily: Well this is just ridiculous. Three intelligent women sitting here in complete silence. There must be something to talk about. Do you know that every night at dinner, the Kennedy clan would sit around the table having lively debates about everything under the sun? They would quiz each other about current events, historical facts, intellectual trivia. Now the Gilmore clan is just as smart and worldly as the Kennedy's so come on - somebody - say something.
Lorelai: Do you know that butt models make $10,000 a day?

Emily: Alright I'm sorry. You were on the phone.
Richard: Long distance.
Lorelai: God?
Richard: London.
Lorelai: God lives in London?
Richard: My mother lives in London.
Lorelai: Your mother is God?
Richard: Lorelai.
Lorelai: So, God is a woman...
Richard: Lorelai.
Lorelai: And a relative, that's so cool. I'm gonna totally ask for favors.

Trix, the great-grandmother: I can see now that offering that trust fund was a bad idea. After all, taking into account the maturity level of those involved, this large amount of money would probably not be safe.
Lorelai: No Gran, that isn't true. Rory is an incredibly mature kid.
Trix, the great-grandmother: Oh I'm sure she is. It's you I'm worried about.

Episode 19

Rory: Oh, I'm buzzing.
Lorelai: What have I said about buzzing in public? [about a pager]

Lorelai: So if Rachel turns out to be an evil fembot and murders Luke in his sleep, I'm not responsible am I?
Rory: Only in an intergalactic court.

Episode 20

Kirk, the crazy guy: Okay, did somebody put the kick me sign on my back again? It wasn't funny last week and it's not funny now! I have asthma.

Rory: You'll break up, cry, get back together, break up. It doesn't really matter. I'd rather not have to keep track, so tell me when you're down to the final inning.
Lorelai: You know what, that is way too snotty a thing even for alternate universe Rory to say. I'd like an apology.

Richard: I'll be dead tomorrow. I plan on flinging myself off the roof tonight right in the middle of Pittie Salinger's opening speech.
Emily: Pittie Salinger is a dear friend and you will be nice to her.
Richard: Pittie Salinger is a dipsomaniac. I'm going to bring my newspaper.

Lorelai: I'm not even talking specifically about Dean. I mean just generally in life. For example, say you're dating Taylor Hanson.
Rory: Why am I dating Taylor Hanson?
Lorelai: It's a hypothetical scenario, go with it. So, uh, you and Taylor have been seeing each other pretty regularly. .
Rory: How did I meet Taylor Hanson?
Lorelai: You went to his concert, you got backstage, your eyes met across the crowd and you've been seeing each other ever since.

Episode 21

Lorelai: Dear God Almighty Mr. Mirkle!

Lorelai: What are you doing?!
Luke: Fixing your porch rail.
Lorelai: That's right. You are. You're fixing my porch rail. . . . At six thirty in the morning!

Lorelai: Oh. The Dean box. Okay, I know I was supposed to throw it away, but I couldn't. I mean, you're young and your head's all weird, and you don't have any perspective because of that whole young weird headed thing, so just please listen to me before you get mad. You're gonna want that stuff one day, when you're old and married, and looking back and thinking, I certainly had an interesting life. And then you can pull out all your old boyfriend boxes. Which is good, because I threw away stuff I'd kill to have today. Look, I put it in with the Max box so they could chat and keep each other company and commiserate about how they had Gilmore girl and lost a Gilmore girl and... Sorry.

Luke: It was. Is. I'm just. . I've just been living alone since forever. And I just got use to putting the milk someplace in the fridge and finding it in the exact same spot. You know what I mean?

Lorelai: Oh, we don't even keep milk in the house.
Luke: Well, then cookies.
Lorelai: Cookies almost never make it out of the car.
Luke: You know what I mean.

Clara: She sacred me.
Dean: Who?
Clara: The Girl Scout.

Rory: Because sometimes you have something you need to say but you can't because the words won't come out or you get scared or you feel stupid, so if you could write a song and sing it then you could say what you need to say and it would be beautiful and people would listen and you wouldn't make a complete idiot out of yourself, but all of us can't be songwriters so some of us will never be able to say what we're thinking or what we want other people to know that we're thinking so we'll never get the chance to make things right again ever. So give this guy a license.

Great thanks to the website GilmoreGirls.org!
Poster - Lauren Graham fan site